Is It Really That Hard?

"I can't stand rude behavior in a man.  Won't tolerate it." ~Captain Woodrow F.Call, Lonesome Dove

I love the Lonesome Dove books by Larry McMurtry.  Of course, I love cowboys and their way of life, that time period in post-Civil War American history.  McMurtry's books are full of a lot of quotes that get thrown around The Ranch on a daily basis, particularly the one above.  I demand people keep a civil tongue in their heads and do my best to teach the kids that, even if they don't like someone, they can still be pleasant.

Having said that, I need to vent.  The Cowboy's ex is beginning to be a real burr under my saddle blanket and I am going to have to call her out on it.  I realize that the nature of an "ex" anything isn't supposed to be fun, but people can still be civil, especially if there are kids involved.  It was her idea to end their relationship anyway, neither was abusive, or cheated or any of those other things that can end a marriage.  His biggest sin was being diagnosed with a rare muscular disorder and not making enough money to suit her.  So after telling everyone he would be in a wheelchair in 5 years (12 years ago), she was suddenly afraid of him, the man who supported her through chiropractic school....the man who takes 15 minutes to comb the tangles out of the 5 year old girl's hair. The man who taught the 5 year old with spastic quadraplegic cerebral palsy to swallow a pill, to the amazement of doctors in 2 states.  The man who resuced a barn kitten from the dogs and brought it in the house (where she sleeps with him every night).  The same man who takes the time to make my coffee pot before we go to bed, who makes sure dinner is ready when I get home, among the other things he does. THIS is the man she considered worthless, divorced and then married someone else 6 months to the day after their divorce was final.

It didn't stop there either.  Because if his "disability", he has to take a driving test every 2 years to prove that he is safe to drive.  Because of his "disability", he wasn't allowed to see his son for almost 2 years unsupervised....by a member of her family.  For the past 3 years, since we have been together, it has been an almost constant stream of texts, emails and phone calls of how SHE wants things to be.  I am rarely, if ever, aknowledged to be a presence in the boy's life. No smiles or nods of the head at baseball or football games.  No hello at the door if I am the one picking him up.  No civilities at school functions or pleasantries on the phone if I answer. One weekend, he came to our house without socks, so we bought him a package, kept some at our place and sent the rest home.   She called to inform The Cowboy that he had socks already....no thanks, no kiss my ass,  no nothing. I once spent almost an hour looking some things up for a school project of his, then emailed what I had found to her and the boy.  She called The Cowboy to complain that he couldn't use it because I had written it.  The final straw was this morning when, after working all night, I had to drive 40 miles out of my way to get the boy for his Father's Day visitation....because the good "christian" woman couldn't be bothered to get up early.  The kicker was when she grudgingly agreed to meet me this afternoon to pick him up and the annoyed look on her face when we pulled into the parking lot.  And finding something interesting on her phone to look at when we parked beside her so she didn't have to look in my direction.

Is it really that hard to just be nice?  I don't want to have lunch with the woman, nor do I want to be involved in her life beyond the overlap with the boy.  Why is it so difficult to just be civil?  Whatever it is, I am done with this behavior.  As a German-Irish red head, my bullshit tolerance is pretty low anyway, but this takes the cake.  So, here it is, dear Miss Sister-Bertha-Better-Than-You....you may be a chiropractor in Owasso, but you were born poor white trash from Healdton, Oklahoma and money doesn't buy class.

Whew....I feel better.